Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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