I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
