it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
