A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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