don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
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