covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and she was petting her beer can
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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