You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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