Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My vagina just recognized that song.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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