hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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