'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She announced her abortion via fbk
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
