let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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