Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize