so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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