Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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