Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
