No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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