Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
