This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
