You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize
