i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
