escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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