so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize