i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't put those talents on a resume
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize