We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't deserve a penis
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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