i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
