I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
