well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
