how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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