Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
