I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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