marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
