Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
