just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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