this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
