Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize