It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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