i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
