Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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