Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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