i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
