on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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