Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
