Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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