Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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