Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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