checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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