He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
