Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
