My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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