carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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