Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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