you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
