I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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