She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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