you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
