Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
