You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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