What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
