I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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