know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
