I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
