I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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