Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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