You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Porn is love you can see.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I want is dick and wine.
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