This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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